I always feel like somebody's watching me.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

No Cool-Whip.

So back to my daughter's business venture. The phone rang today, a number I didn't recognize. The female caller asked for my daughter. A few minutes after retreating to her room, she emerged and informed me that one of our neighbors had called to tell her she would pay her $5 to come scoop dog poop. "I'm going to be RICH this summer."

"Did you go ask her if you could pick up her dog poop? When did you do this? Which neighbor?" Standard grilling procedure ensued.

"I put signs under everyone's doormats who have dogs." She raced around, gathering her things.

"How many phone calls should I be expecting? Do I get a cut for being your SECRETARY?" I actually swear every time the phone rings because it is ALWAYS missing and it is NEVER for me.

"MOM!" She didn't want to be late for her job. Can't shirk those doodies you know..

After she left it dawned on me that this would be the first time poop had been picked up in this lady's yard because the snow JUST MELTED. What a deal she was getting! $5 to have someone else pick up an entire winter's worth of mooky sticks.

My daughter returned home about 45 minutes later, out of breath and pink-cheeked. "I picked up FOUR Cool-Whip container's worth of poop! Do you know how much poop that is? That's a lot of poop mom. FOUR Cool-Whip containers!" She said it at least three more times.

Now all I can picture, instead of creamy Cool-Whip, which I sometimes like to eat by the spoonful, is a Cool-Whip container full of dog shit. I can't get the vision out of my head. I don't think I will ever be able to eat any sort of whipped topping again. Thanks a lot kid.

To top it all off, she managed to find an empty ice cream container to point out to me that she could have FILLED THAT TOO! Now I can't eat ice cream either. On the up side of things, my diet should now be a breeze!

1 comment:

  1. I think you're onto something there in your last sentence. You should hire your daughter out as a "healthy lifestyle motivation consultant" -- she can ask her clients for empty containers from their favorite decadent indulgences, then fill them up with dog poop and either describe or, for an extra fee, display the contents to her clients.