I always feel like somebody's watching me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Sky is the Limit

"Lose 10 pounds and two inches? Why would anyone want to lose two inches!?" My 10 year old just asked this of me as she surfed the 'net.
I squeezed my own waist to illustrate why someone would want to lose two inches. "OH!" She said, snorting. "I thought that meant height!"
Oh dear LORD no! If that was the case, I'd be eating Twinkies and HoHo's three times a day to GAIN inches. I could use a nice 5'7" instead of my measly 5'4 1/2". Don't forget the half! Although, since they can't put halves on driver's licenses, mine actually says 5'5". Whoa. Rebel. If I die in a fiery inferno, they won't be able to identify my body because the height won't match up. Oops...guess I shouldn't have let that one slip. Now my worst enemies know how to off me and not get caught.

Much to my delight, the weather has greatly improved this week. This, in turn, improved my mood and my driving skills. Much to my dismay, my eldest daughter announced that the return of nice weather and melting snow would resurrect her "business". Last summer my little entrepreneur went door to door in our neighborhood offering to scoop poop for people with dogs. That's right folks, she's gonna sling some slop and bring home the bacon. She's pretty excited about it all. Normally the tooth fairy is her only form of income and as she is currently lacking any loose teeth, she's gotta go where the money is. I will totally expect her to list "tooth salesman" on her first job application because that is just how she rolls. That, coupled with "Canine fecal removal specialist" ought to land her a corporate gig right out of the chute! Heck, she may even be able to skip college with that on her resume!

So, for all you underachievers out there, aim high. Don't hesitate or you'll miss your calling! After all, we aren't getting any taller!

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